juggling time: horse or mule? maybe a snail...
Recently I had a desire to bake a wedding cake for a girlfriend. But I had to harness my desires, and put a bit in my mouth so I would not chew off more than I could possibly bite.
This is my third attempt where I had to literally hold back on opening my mouth to promise someone a cake. Sigh. Yes, it would be so nice, it would be so romantic a gift.
True, but it would also be so exhausting, the rational mind warns. Cramming a 2-week project into one week is no fun. You would probably work yourself till late nights, working till wee hours of the morning. ehem.
And Toddler will be neglected. At that point, I refrained myself. Because I am a mama now. Small projects, yes. 3 or 4 tiered cakes, well - if it's really a special request. Since no one requested, though I am eager to bake one, I think it best to refrain from volunteering.
Refrain is one of the hardest things to do for me - someone who will volunteer and jump off the boat, only to realise that she has not learnt to turn around while swimming. Yikes. (That is another story of craziness LOL).
Further, Toddler is at an age where he needs lots of supervision. (EXcuses, schemuses.. whatever muses.. you may say; but this is the path I am journeying currently. Juggling with housework, meals and an active toddler who has been very kind and gracious to the mother. sniff.sniff. Treasure your parents who adore your kid, esp when they come lending a helping hand. I wish my mom or MIL was around. sigh. Nevertheless, God is ever so gracious in emergencies.)
Since having a child, without my mom nearby or my MIL around, I have seemingly become "anti-social" in the volunteering sector. Did the projects I wanted to volunteer in fail? Nope. Did the office stop functioning? Not at all. Did the banks closed down when 911 happened?
I guess what is important are the tasks at hand that God has placed in my hands. The first circle is our family. If I don't take care of the child, no one is going to do it. There is no replacement for one's mother, wife, sister, grandma - for female roles. You are who God places you to be. In the family you are in. That's my garden, I believe.
The only reason now I am venturing to consider part time paid employment is - because of financial reasons. I believe that many women face this angst. That is the one and only reason. So there would be money for the diapers, milk, and rice, and monthly commitments. (So poor thing, you think...). Yes, also for books. It's a little side pleasure. My sufferings in this world can be soothed by getting an eccentric cookbook, like Japanese Cooking: A Simple Art by Shizuo Tsuji. Just joking. sigh. I must break this addiction. Yup, some books, and toys for the little buddy.
And this exchange of time for money comes with a sacrifice. I have to exchange some time allocated for my child for work. Not ideal, but we do not live in an ideal world. But I pray one day soon, I will be able to have sustainable income while working from home, at hours that will not affect my time with our children. Is this impossible? I believe there are avenues. May the Lord grant this request. The only grateful thing is, I can be near him while I work. Will this really work out? I need to request to try it out.
In times like this, I really wonder - why am I so divided towards work away from home? Perhaps it's the joy of growing up with a stay-at-home mom. My mom as a single parent had the opportunity to work in HK as a chef but she rejected it as we were really small. She only went out to work in the hawker business, selling HK porridge, tom yam soup and fish head noodles (before these became vogue) back in the 80s only when my bro became 12 years of age. I really missed my childhood days of spending time with her. It's different coming home to home cooked meals and a mom waiting for you, instead of an empty house.
Anyway, please don't quit your job and land up with a pile of debts just because you heard a strongly worded blog from this "snail". It's just my thought processes. Write first. Read, pray, think. Anyway, we umderstand the sisterhood. Everyone needs money to survive. A salute to bi-vocational moms everywhere. How you manage to work 24/7 and still be sane after all the housework, and have freshly cooked meals daily while being nice coiffeured - is a marvel to behold, and something I deeply admire. Even if your hair gets more and more "naturally curly" as time goes by with all the challenges, it is still a marvellous achievement. Just don't abandon the family ship. Call the girls out for a girl's day or night out, take a break and things will be better.
God is still in control of the economy and He is still guiding us. (Thank God for that! Whew!) So maybe this snail needs to be stick the head out a little more so she can see the other avenues and possibilities. Eh - what is that in your hand? Oh I see a baking pan.... Hmmm... I've written myself happy now. Happy Mother's Day. :)
This is my third attempt where I had to literally hold back on opening my mouth to promise someone a cake. Sigh. Yes, it would be so nice, it would be so romantic a gift.
True, but it would also be so exhausting, the rational mind warns. Cramming a 2-week project into one week is no fun. You would probably work yourself till late nights, working till wee hours of the morning. ehem.
And Toddler will be neglected. At that point, I refrained myself. Because I am a mama now. Small projects, yes. 3 or 4 tiered cakes, well - if it's really a special request. Since no one requested, though I am eager to bake one, I think it best to refrain from volunteering.
Refrain is one of the hardest things to do for me - someone who will volunteer and jump off the boat, only to realise that she has not learnt to turn around while swimming. Yikes. (That is another story of craziness LOL).
Further, Toddler is at an age where he needs lots of supervision. (EXcuses, schemuses.. whatever muses.. you may say; but this is the path I am journeying currently. Juggling with housework, meals and an active toddler who has been very kind and gracious to the mother. sniff.sniff. Treasure your parents who adore your kid, esp when they come lending a helping hand. I wish my mom or MIL was around. sigh. Nevertheless, God is ever so gracious in emergencies.)
Since having a child, without my mom nearby or my MIL around, I have seemingly become "anti-social" in the volunteering sector. Did the projects I wanted to volunteer in fail? Nope. Did the office stop functioning? Not at all. Did the banks closed down when 911 happened?
I guess what is important are the tasks at hand that God has placed in my hands. The first circle is our family. If I don't take care of the child, no one is going to do it. There is no replacement for one's mother, wife, sister, grandma - for female roles. You are who God places you to be. In the family you are in. That's my garden, I believe.
The only reason now I am venturing to consider part time paid employment is - because of financial reasons. I believe that many women face this angst. That is the one and only reason. So there would be money for the diapers, milk, and rice, and monthly commitments. (So poor thing, you think...). Yes, also for books. It's a little side pleasure. My sufferings in this world can be soothed by getting an eccentric cookbook, like Japanese Cooking: A Simple Art by Shizuo Tsuji. Just joking. sigh. I must break this addiction. Yup, some books, and toys for the little buddy.
And this exchange of time for money comes with a sacrifice. I have to exchange some time allocated for my child for work. Not ideal, but we do not live in an ideal world. But I pray one day soon, I will be able to have sustainable income while working from home, at hours that will not affect my time with our children. Is this impossible? I believe there are avenues. May the Lord grant this request. The only grateful thing is, I can be near him while I work. Will this really work out? I need to request to try it out.
In times like this, I really wonder - why am I so divided towards work away from home? Perhaps it's the joy of growing up with a stay-at-home mom. My mom as a single parent had the opportunity to work in HK as a chef but she rejected it as we were really small. She only went out to work in the hawker business, selling HK porridge, tom yam soup and fish head noodles (before these became vogue) back in the 80s only when my bro became 12 years of age. I really missed my childhood days of spending time with her. It's different coming home to home cooked meals and a mom waiting for you, instead of an empty house.
Anyway, please don't quit your job and land up with a pile of debts just because you heard a strongly worded blog from this "snail". It's just my thought processes. Write first. Read, pray, think. Anyway, we umderstand the sisterhood. Everyone needs money to survive. A salute to bi-vocational moms everywhere. How you manage to work 24/7 and still be sane after all the housework, and have freshly cooked meals daily while being nice coiffeured - is a marvel to behold, and something I deeply admire. Even if your hair gets more and more "naturally curly" as time goes by with all the challenges, it is still a marvellous achievement. Just don't abandon the family ship. Call the girls out for a girl's day or night out, take a break and things will be better.
God is still in control of the economy and He is still guiding us. (Thank God for that! Whew!) So maybe this snail needs to be stick the head out a little more so she can see the other avenues and possibilities. Eh - what is that in your hand? Oh I see a baking pan.... Hmmm... I've written myself happy now. Happy Mother's Day. :)
Comments
I resonate with admonishing the devil from our homes-
I'm also thinking, thinking, thinking... should do more praying. My reasons are different. More about being a positive role model.
Yes, for me it's about beating the 'victim syndrome'. I yearn to be an enabler.
Little d is giving me such joy just at the moment. A little sponge. Such a joy to see them learn. Your little S was my little d when you baked him the Bob cake. Can you imagine!!
I pray for all things in twos for Lims as S approaches the 2nd milestone :)
I miss you, pramgirl :(