July: a challenging month
July has been a challenging month. It started with a sms on a Tuesday on the first week of July. I was in the midst of having my hair trimmed after a six-month delay. My brother messaged: "Mom is in hospital." I was shocked but also felt a deep sense of peace while praying. She collapsed in her room due to a stroke. It affected her left side: facial muscles - drooped, slurred speech, numbness on the hands and feet. A hemorraging. When we arrived, she could recognised us. Her speech was rather badly slurred. Arm was swollen. Feet could move but had no sensation. It was rather scary. But the deep sense of peace from the Lord pervaded. So we prayed with her, and within hours - literally - as we sat there -- the swelling on her arm went down. Speech became clearer. Left foot started to regain sensation. Facial muscles improved. It was really the grace and mercy of the Lord. Within 5 days, her progress was good, so she was allowed to rest at home and was discharged. It is truly the mercy and grace of the Lord.
Being in this condition, my mom was now unable to care for my ailing grandma. My grandma's had been diagnosed with diabetes and kidney failure about 5 or 6 years back. Doctors gave her 6 months at most back then. She was given the option of either having an operation with a bag hanging out by her side; or to go for regular dialysis. She refused both options and said she wanted to die in peace. So the doctor agreed to her request and instructed my mom to give her a daily insulin jab at home. So for these last 5 to 6 years, we enjoyed her company, and she stayed with my brother's family and mom.
Faced with the current situation - where my mom herself needed assistance, has one hand that was so weak it was almost a week before she started to regain some sensations -- my brother's best choice was to request our maternal aunts to care for grandma and shift her to our cousin's place one road away in the same housing estate. (Otherwise my mom would not be able to rest and would worry all the time... yes, she is that kind of person). Everyone was in agreement with this arrangement - except Grandma - who had started hallucinating some two months back. I was told later that she did not even realise that she had been moved to my aunt's place.
In the midst of all these adjustments, my mom visited her upon discharge and told me that Grandma had started fading away even more. In fact Grandma had to be admitted to hospital's emergency ward via ambulance a day after my mom's collapse. But Grandma was also discharged the same day. I was later told that the hospital probably sent her back as they could do nothing for her. The whole week I felt restless and bothered as we had not made any prior arrangements for her homegoing as she had requested as far as a year or so back. This was the second week. I had asked the Lord earlier that week - when my grandma would be going, and felt the Lord said, that she would not make it to the end of July. It seemed like an almost "heartless and bizarre" question to ask, but I had to take over the coordinating of the funeral arrangements being the eldest child of the eldest daughter.
Early third week of July, I had a strong conviction in my heart to sign up for a funeral arrangements package on Monday itself. It had to be Monday. That was the instruction. So on that late afternoon, we managed to finalised these arrangements. That was 18th July.
On 19th July, about 8.00 pm, I was driving back from dinner, when my phone rang. Unanswered, hubby's phone rang and I heard him say, "Oh dear..." My Grandma had passed on that evening. She went peacefully. And earlier that afternoon, I had an extensive discussion with my cousin's wife with clarifications of what we are to do if Grandma really goes back to the Lord soon. So when the phone call came, my cousin and his wife were already at the police station to report her death. (My aunt's doctor had come by the home earlier to verify the her condition). It seems they had suspected she was gone around 7 pm, but dare not contact me till everything was verified - since I was the main funeral organiser. sigh.
We called NV Care and Kelvin Lee's brother, Bryan, arrived within an hour. Almost everyone was there by then, and I believe, by the grace of God, we were able to decide on casket, timing of the funeral and wake service with everyone's consent. Looking back, my mind was too occupied with coordinating the funeral with the caretakers, and arranging for funeral plot, and wondering how my mom is faring with all these at the same time. Thankfully, the service by the funeral organiser was excellent, and the LCMS manager for the burial plot was very gracious as well. My mom and aunts were very comforted by how everything had been take care of, and it was really the providence of the Lord that we could get a place where they had a comfortable waiting room.
It was a small and meaningful service. The presence of the Lord strongly evident. As early as 6.27 pm, I was chatting with my dad when I was surprised by the tangible presence of the Lord that suddenly filled the waiting room of the parlour. I felt angels had descended, preparing the way for the Lord's presence.
When the worship started, the wave of the Lord's presence increased in intensity and I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus dressed as the King of Kings taking his place. At his right, I saw Popo entered into the room with Him. But she did not look old. She actually look the same - younger - from the first vision I saw the night of her homegoing. Young, happy. I could not stop weeping seeing this honour of His presence and was very glad my Popo is now in His care and at rest and in joy. The verse, Precious in the sight of the Lord are the death of His saints." came repeatedly to my mind as I witness His taking His throne and presenting her beside Him.
For some reason (I cannot remember why) I had often NOT wanted to hear the hard selling of the gospel especially during funeral service. But that evening, during worship there was a strong urge to pray for our family's salvation. The pastor shared a message on salvation in a gentle truthful manner. It felt just right. There was no sense of "force" or "Pressure" to "believe in Jesus." Just simple truth in a gentle manner. And one of our relatives consciously decided to repeated the prayer to put their trust in the Lord that night. I trust what the Lord has begun, He will complete it until the Day of Christ in our family. For all these, sadness mingles with joy. Joy at knowing my Popo is now more alive, at peace and has the joy of the Lord residing in her - at this end of her journey here, and beginning her journey there. Thank You LOrd.
Being in this condition, my mom was now unable to care for my ailing grandma. My grandma's had been diagnosed with diabetes and kidney failure about 5 or 6 years back. Doctors gave her 6 months at most back then. She was given the option of either having an operation with a bag hanging out by her side; or to go for regular dialysis. She refused both options and said she wanted to die in peace. So the doctor agreed to her request and instructed my mom to give her a daily insulin jab at home. So for these last 5 to 6 years, we enjoyed her company, and she stayed with my brother's family and mom.
Faced with the current situation - where my mom herself needed assistance, has one hand that was so weak it was almost a week before she started to regain some sensations -- my brother's best choice was to request our maternal aunts to care for grandma and shift her to our cousin's place one road away in the same housing estate. (Otherwise my mom would not be able to rest and would worry all the time... yes, she is that kind of person). Everyone was in agreement with this arrangement - except Grandma - who had started hallucinating some two months back. I was told later that she did not even realise that she had been moved to my aunt's place.
In the midst of all these adjustments, my mom visited her upon discharge and told me that Grandma had started fading away even more. In fact Grandma had to be admitted to hospital's emergency ward via ambulance a day after my mom's collapse. But Grandma was also discharged the same day. I was later told that the hospital probably sent her back as they could do nothing for her. The whole week I felt restless and bothered as we had not made any prior arrangements for her homegoing as she had requested as far as a year or so back. This was the second week. I had asked the Lord earlier that week - when my grandma would be going, and felt the Lord said, that she would not make it to the end of July. It seemed like an almost "heartless and bizarre" question to ask, but I had to take over the coordinating of the funeral arrangements being the eldest child of the eldest daughter.
Early third week of July, I had a strong conviction in my heart to sign up for a funeral arrangements package on Monday itself. It had to be Monday. That was the instruction. So on that late afternoon, we managed to finalised these arrangements. That was 18th July.
On 19th July, about 8.00 pm, I was driving back from dinner, when my phone rang. Unanswered, hubby's phone rang and I heard him say, "Oh dear..." My Grandma had passed on that evening. She went peacefully. And earlier that afternoon, I had an extensive discussion with my cousin's wife with clarifications of what we are to do if Grandma really goes back to the Lord soon. So when the phone call came, my cousin and his wife were already at the police station to report her death. (My aunt's doctor had come by the home earlier to verify the her condition). It seems they had suspected she was gone around 7 pm, but dare not contact me till everything was verified - since I was the main funeral organiser. sigh.
We called NV Care and Kelvin Lee's brother, Bryan, arrived within an hour. Almost everyone was there by then, and I believe, by the grace of God, we were able to decide on casket, timing of the funeral and wake service with everyone's consent. Looking back, my mind was too occupied with coordinating the funeral with the caretakers, and arranging for funeral plot, and wondering how my mom is faring with all these at the same time. Thankfully, the service by the funeral organiser was excellent, and the LCMS manager for the burial plot was very gracious as well. My mom and aunts were very comforted by how everything had been take care of, and it was really the providence of the Lord that we could get a place where they had a comfortable waiting room.
It was a small and meaningful service. The presence of the Lord strongly evident. As early as 6.27 pm, I was chatting with my dad when I was surprised by the tangible presence of the Lord that suddenly filled the waiting room of the parlour. I felt angels had descended, preparing the way for the Lord's presence.
When the worship started, the wave of the Lord's presence increased in intensity and I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus dressed as the King of Kings taking his place. At his right, I saw Popo entered into the room with Him. But she did not look old. She actually look the same - younger - from the first vision I saw the night of her homegoing. Young, happy. I could not stop weeping seeing this honour of His presence and was very glad my Popo is now in His care and at rest and in joy. The verse, Precious in the sight of the Lord are the death of His saints." came repeatedly to my mind as I witness His taking His throne and presenting her beside Him.
For some reason (I cannot remember why) I had often NOT wanted to hear the hard selling of the gospel especially during funeral service. But that evening, during worship there was a strong urge to pray for our family's salvation. The pastor shared a message on salvation in a gentle truthful manner. It felt just right. There was no sense of "force" or "Pressure" to "believe in Jesus." Just simple truth in a gentle manner. And one of our relatives consciously decided to repeated the prayer to put their trust in the Lord that night. I trust what the Lord has begun, He will complete it until the Day of Christ in our family. For all these, sadness mingles with joy. Joy at knowing my Popo is now more alive, at peace and has the joy of the Lord residing in her - at this end of her journey here, and beginning her journey there. Thank You LOrd.
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