O Lord you have searched me and known me... Ps 139

Psalm 139

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

No matter how far I run, and how long I run, I still find myself back to the same place. The scenery might change. The surrounding cast has changed. But the place is still the same here, in my heart. It is almost exactly the same years ago when we first met. It is the place where I first heard Him call me. Yes. He answered.

I was smitten. I wanted to do nothing but to to be near Him. To hear His voice. To speak with Him, Just to hang around His presence. So I begged, Call me. Call me. And He called. When it happened, I knew without a shadow of doubt, the Lord has called me. This is one of the first things that happened.

Tonight I heard a youtube message. Again, my heart burned. Something about the voice; hearing His voice in the pastor's voice. My heart burned. This does not happen often. My heart is stirring and I cannot sleep.

But I must give it a fermenting time of 3 months. Something Ihave heard, if it really is the voice of God, the Word will continue to give life and speak to my heart and mind, transforming it. Can't help but listen to it repeatedly.

Will post it, hopefully next week. Today - must retire to bed asap. Meeting early tomorrow morning. Lord please give me messages to speak that will burn in the hearts of people too. Thanks.

P.s. I think no matter how much heartache, or disappointment in life that people I love or hold in respect inflict, it still is not an excuse for me to run away from the Lord. Why should I run away from my Healer? I think I have been running away in foolishness. Foolishness because I was embracing pain and not alowing the wounds to be healed. This wasting of time is definitely foolishness. I think forgiveness and running towards the Healer is wisdom. Pls forgive my foolish ignorant running, Father. I know even this realisation comes from You. Thank You Lord.