Ramblings on "Acute loneliness"

"Acute loneliness". A sudden sharp sense of loneliness. It happened recently, especially after the trip back from visiting friends in Koalaland. I feel it every time I see Seth walking around in our small living area. His loneliness.

In Koalaland, he met a companion two years older. They became fast friends. Little D was much bigger but very gentle indeed with him. Though little D was actually very strong, but in his young age, he showed amazing control over his actions playing with Seth.

I often saw them hugging each other happily, rolling all over the carpet. In the mornings, when our room door opened, Seth would shoot out of the room, running on his little legs as fast as he can, and soon, he would be climbing down the stairways to little video den. There, his friend, little D sat. Then D would ask him to watch D playing or burning his "racing car engines" on the game dvd.

When we came back, and as I looked at Seth the next morning, wondering all round in the living area, I felt a sharp sense of loneliness. Seth misses little D. So do I.

Does this mean this is the right time for another little addition? Having stood on another land after so long, made me wonder whether have I allowes my roots of affection grow do deep into the soil of a nation till I am unable to leave when the time comes to do so. Perhaps the roots of my affections should be planted deep into relationships, not so much the surroundings. Like what an amazing holocaust survivor said to us, Know who you are. After all, I realise, we do not really live fully for ourselves alone, but the children do have a large influence factor in decisions. It's strange how this focus of attention has shifted.