Of coming back to the heart of God
Thoughts on worship. Of coming back to the heart of worshipping the Lord.
"I often lack words to pray. Singing worship songs is a way that I pray. The songs are prayers in song sung to God."
This story came to mind when I thought of coming back to the heart of worship.
I came across a reminder that the term, God's presence, in Hebrew, paneh, means, face, while reading the story of Cain and Able in Genesis 4. To worship means to stand before the face of the Lord God.
"I often lack words to pray. Singing worship songs is a way that I pray. The songs are prayers in song sung to God."
This story came to mind when I thought of coming back to the heart of worship.
I came across a reminder that the term, God's presence, in Hebrew, paneh, means, face, while reading the story of Cain and Able in Genesis 4. To worship means to stand before the face of the Lord God.
(c.f. http://www.qbible.com/hebrew-old-testament/genesis/4.html)
Cain and Abel.
It was such a heartbreaking incident.
Abel was a shepherd.
Cain was a tiller of the ground.
Both brought an offering. Both wanted a blessing from God.
One was accepted. The other wasn't.
The painful moment was - when did the seeds of ambition and competition started to sprout in Cain's heart? How long had these seeds of comparison been growing?
How long had he been struggling with jealousy of his brother? How long had he been insecure?
No murderous intention is birthed overnight.
The roots of the knowledge of good and evil has started to spread. And spread fast.
Adam and Eve learnt fear, nakedness, shame right after eating it.
Here were two brothers. One was as light. The other was likened to light ensnared by darkness. They were both meant to be living in the light. Free from fear, free from shame, free from rejection. Free from competition. Imagine how the Lord God felt watching all the choices unfold.
4 Abel also brought an offering, but from the firstborn animals of his herd, choice cuts of meat. God liked Abel and his offering, 5but Cain and his offering didn't get his approval. Cain lost his temper and went into a sulk. (Genesis 4:4-5)
Initially, I had read it shallowly. So maybe his offering was not a sincere heartfelt offering. as it did not say he had offered his choicest.
But looking back from the over-reaction of Cain's responses, how anger and murderous intent consumed him - the offering he was bringing was probably tainted with feelings of comparison, of inferiority. Of anxiety and uncertainty of Yahweh's love for him - will it be accepted? It may not have just been the quality of the fruit of the ground.
It was probably something darker, more sinister. Sin was spreading its roots deep in the recesses of the mind.
6 God spoke to Cain: "Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? 7 If you do well, won't you be accepted? And if you don't do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it's out to get you, you've got to master it." 8 Cain had words with his brother. They were out in the field; Cain came at Abel his brother and killed him. 9 God said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" He said, "How should I know? Am I his babysitter?"
I had read it in the past and now again, and still feel shocked at the way he responded to God. Such familiarity, such disrespect. I felt shocked at Cain's overreaction to the result of the offering. But then again, I was not in his shoes. One nature of rejection I know to be true -- those who are consumed by it will reject others from whom they want acceptance the most. They will keep testing the one whom they know loves them. They do it without unintentionally. That is the what the virulent DNA of rejection does.
A sudden picture comes to mind: A ruddy little boy of seven or eight with rosy cheeky and shining eyes running around laughing. I felt this was what the Lord remembers when He thinks of Cain. He thought of him so much, a firstborn of His firstborn. So much that his story still echoes across the thousands of years.
Cain was a ruddy little boy with curly locks. He was often laughing as he played. Smiling surrounded by the warmth of his parents' love. But he never understood the sadness they both had in their eyes. God visited them daily. He thought God was amazing. His parents often wept when God visited.
Then one day, his mother gave birth to another little boy.
She was often occupied with the new baby. Cain started to feel lonely. His parents were often tilling the ground. It was hard work. Cain admired and loved his dad. His dad always patted his head and praised him when he helped them remove the rocks and stones in the ground. "I'll grow up to be like Dad, a tiller of the ground, so I can help him." God saw his dreams, his desires, his longings and loneliness.
A paradox. But that is what eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil does.
God the Just Judge had to issue a judgement. A murder had been committed. But yet, when Cain protested, immediately, the Lord placed a seal of protection on his life. And even though it seemed he left the face of the Lord.
Yet, Genesis closely recorded his history up to his descents. Was that not God implicitly saying He was still watching over him and his family? Looking ever so longingly? Would the story been different if Cain had repented right there? If he had said right after the offering -- I was wrong, And offered another offering? If only Cain had realised his was not a lost case and did not give up on himself in fear and despair. If only light realised the truth: light overcomes darkness.
If only we realised that. We don't really look around out of the matrix. It is less consuming emotionally and mentally to sit in darkness. That is why Christ had to come. As Emmanuel, God with us.
Cain and Abel.
It was such a heartbreaking incident.
Abel was a shepherd.
Cain was a tiller of the ground.
Both brought an offering. Both wanted a blessing from God.
One was accepted. The other wasn't.
The painful moment was - when did the seeds of ambition and competition started to sprout in Cain's heart? How long had these seeds of comparison been growing?
How long had he been struggling with jealousy of his brother? How long had he been insecure?
No murderous intention is birthed overnight.
The roots of the knowledge of good and evil has started to spread. And spread fast.
Adam and Eve learnt fear, nakedness, shame right after eating it.
Here were two brothers. One was as light. The other was likened to light ensnared by darkness. They were both meant to be living in the light. Free from fear, free from shame, free from rejection. Free from competition. Imagine how the Lord God felt watching all the choices unfold.
4 Abel also brought an offering, but from the firstborn animals of his herd, choice cuts of meat. God liked Abel and his offering, 5but Cain and his offering didn't get his approval. Cain lost his temper and went into a sulk. (Genesis 4:4-5)
Initially, I had read it shallowly. So maybe his offering was not a sincere heartfelt offering. as it did not say he had offered his choicest.
But looking back from the over-reaction of Cain's responses, how anger and murderous intent consumed him - the offering he was bringing was probably tainted with feelings of comparison, of inferiority. Of anxiety and uncertainty of Yahweh's love for him - will it be accepted? It may not have just been the quality of the fruit of the ground.
It was probably something darker, more sinister. Sin was spreading its roots deep in the recesses of the mind.
6 God spoke to Cain: "Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? 7 If you do well, won't you be accepted? And if you don't do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it's out to get you, you've got to master it." 8 Cain had words with his brother. They were out in the field; Cain came at Abel his brother and killed him. 9 God said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" He said, "How should I know? Am I his babysitter?"
I had read it in the past and now again, and still feel shocked at the way he responded to God. Such familiarity, such disrespect. I felt shocked at Cain's overreaction to the result of the offering. But then again, I was not in his shoes. One nature of rejection I know to be true -- those who are consumed by it will reject others from whom they want acceptance the most. They will keep testing the one whom they know loves them. They do it without unintentionally. That is the what the virulent DNA of rejection does.
A sudden picture comes to mind: A ruddy little boy of seven or eight with rosy cheeky and shining eyes running around laughing. I felt this was what the Lord remembers when He thinks of Cain. He thought of him so much, a firstborn of His firstborn. So much that his story still echoes across the thousands of years.
Cain was a ruddy little boy with curly locks. He was often laughing as he played. Smiling surrounded by the warmth of his parents' love. But he never understood the sadness they both had in their eyes. God visited them daily. He thought God was amazing. His parents often wept when God visited.
Then one day, his mother gave birth to another little boy.
She was often occupied with the new baby. Cain started to feel lonely. His parents were often tilling the ground. It was hard work. Cain admired and loved his dad. His dad always patted his head and praised him when he helped them remove the rocks and stones in the ground. "I'll grow up to be like Dad, a tiller of the ground, so I can help him." God saw his dreams, his desires, his longings and loneliness.
A paradox. But that is what eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil does.
God the Just Judge had to issue a judgement. A murder had been committed. But yet, when Cain protested, immediately, the Lord placed a seal of protection on his life. And even though it seemed he left the face of the Lord.
Yet, Genesis closely recorded his history up to his descents. Was that not God implicitly saying He was still watching over him and his family? Looking ever so longingly? Would the story been different if Cain had repented right there? If he had said right after the offering -- I was wrong, And offered another offering? If only Cain had realised his was not a lost case and did not give up on himself in fear and despair. If only light realised the truth: light overcomes darkness.
If only we realised that. We don't really look around out of the matrix. It is less consuming emotionally and mentally to sit in darkness. That is why Christ had to come. As Emmanuel, God with us.
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