a conversation with myself for this point of life
Woke up this morning, with a sense of renewed stirring of purpose for living life. Glad and somewhat relieved. I can feel the Lord has answered my prayer. Asking for His help to bring me back to draw close to Him, to live in His manifested presence once again. To live purposefully. That was Friday, or Thursday, i think.
For the past few months, I have felt restless. Wondering what life is all about. It's dangerous, I know, to be in that position. But looking back on the journey, I realised that it was a good "shaking", or to put it in a political term, revolution.
Why suddenly all these? Perhaps a change of heart comes and is neccessary ever so often. But I think, this is probably a "mid-life" crisis. It makes me wonder what have I really done in life. Whether Life has been well lived.
This year too, like a fresh awakening, i realised that Wisdom is more a important priority to get -- than what is normally considered as "spirituality" in the charismata sense. It's hard to describe. Let me try. If you have been long enough in the charismatic circle, it's probably the false sense of "spirituality" that is attached to the elevation of the position of spiritual disciplines (how long you pray, or whether you have "prayed" for the day, how well you can channel the gifts, etc). These are things mentioned in 1 Cor 13 as temporal and will pass (gifts, speaking in tongues, sacrifice). I do not discount them away. They are important for life on earth, and have thier functions. But the priority in this point of life, for me personally, is to get Wisdom from the Lord. For the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Proverbs is full of scriptures asking us to get Wisdom.
Coming back to the subject of prayer answered:
Since two days back or so, I have tried to remove boredom by trying to watch a show or soemthing. But the desire to watch something has waned. I did try watching two or three. It just tasted bland and boring. Something my hubby will be happy about. But no need to tell him yet. All things are permissible but not all things are profitable.
So what was the difference this morning? I think the correct description will be: Contentment. And a fresh renewal of purpose. Amazing how fast prayer is answered!!!!! Thank You Lord.
Now back to work as He has asked me to do. How it works out - in fruitfulness and profitability, I will leave it to Him. I'll just go and focus on my responsibilities and study as He said to do. Yay! Gotta go. I hear the little one calling out. He's been walking too, quite well. The Lord truly grants us growth. amen.
For the past few months, I have felt restless. Wondering what life is all about. It's dangerous, I know, to be in that position. But looking back on the journey, I realised that it was a good "shaking", or to put it in a political term, revolution.
Why suddenly all these? Perhaps a change of heart comes and is neccessary ever so often. But I think, this is probably a "mid-life" crisis. It makes me wonder what have I really done in life. Whether Life has been well lived.
This year too, like a fresh awakening, i realised that Wisdom is more a important priority to get -- than what is normally considered as "spirituality" in the charismata sense. It's hard to describe. Let me try. If you have been long enough in the charismatic circle, it's probably the false sense of "spirituality" that is attached to the elevation of the position of spiritual disciplines (how long you pray, or whether you have "prayed" for the day, how well you can channel the gifts, etc). These are things mentioned in 1 Cor 13 as temporal and will pass (gifts, speaking in tongues, sacrifice). I do not discount them away. They are important for life on earth, and have thier functions. But the priority in this point of life, for me personally, is to get Wisdom from the Lord. For the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Proverbs is full of scriptures asking us to get Wisdom.
Coming back to the subject of prayer answered:
Since two days back or so, I have tried to remove boredom by trying to watch a show or soemthing. But the desire to watch something has waned. I did try watching two or three. It just tasted bland and boring. Something my hubby will be happy about. But no need to tell him yet. All things are permissible but not all things are profitable.
So what was the difference this morning? I think the correct description will be: Contentment. And a fresh renewal of purpose. Amazing how fast prayer is answered!!!!! Thank You Lord.
Now back to work as He has asked me to do. How it works out - in fruitfulness and profitability, I will leave it to Him. I'll just go and focus on my responsibilities and study as He said to do. Yay! Gotta go. I hear the little one calling out. He's been walking too, quite well. The Lord truly grants us growth. amen.
Comments
James 1:4-6 (New International Version)
"4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."
I'm on this wavelength too :)