something for Girl to remember: be no fool woman
"a fool vents all his emotions" Proverbs 29:11
New International Version (©1984)
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
King James Bible
A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
Sometimes I behave like a fool. When I forget and vent all my anger. More oft of late.
Of late, I feel the people around me are so "free" to vent their anger at me.
Anything that displeases them, they glare back with displeasure, answer gruffly, and sullenly. Like a fool, I allow myself to think, I can do the same. Why not - if they can, why can't I? Hence I become a fool when I behave like that.
Early one morning, about 5 plus am, when hardly any soul was awake, I was to meet someone at the guard house. The entrance to our apartment area now has a barrier, divided into in and out lanes. Being foreign to my apartment area, the person drove the car to the outgoing lane and waited at the barrier, instead of the incoming. Being incompetent, the guard just stood there and watch the car, smoking his cigarette, without even going to the car to check.
I was wondering what was keeping my guest. It was for a few minutes. Then as I walked to the barrier, I had to gesture to my guest that the incoming lane was on the other lane. Being a quick tempered person, naturally, my guest exploded and said what kind of security guards your maintenance company is employing, who does not even go and check or even say a word to redirect the car to the other side, etc etc." The guard just watched calmly these events. I received the brunt of the anger.
Upon leaving the gate after settling matters, the guard came and said loudly demanded, "Apa dia cakap?!? " - meaning, what is the person saying? And I replied, my guest is new to this area, so the guest did not know where the entrance lane was. Then the guard got upset and scolded, why the person cannot see there are signs posted there?!?"
I said to him, Yes, there are signs, but the signs are not postioned so clearly to the visitors who are incoming. The guard started ranting, and I said to him, Look, I did not even scold you, but you are scolding me? Then, he must have realised suddenly, and calmed down, and said, "tak apa, tak apa".(nevermind, nevermind).
By then I was somewhat riled, and was starting to want to behave like a fool. So I said, Yes, you should tell the management to position the signs in a clearer place, let the management know.
That was my feeble attempt at flinging some last words. Yup, I shifted blame to management. But the person who was in the guard, and also my guest. I guess I was riled because it was like 5 plus am in the morning. My guest, who visited had lost judgement of wisdom. I was alone, and had to walk back to the apartment. If I had also lost it, and got into a tussle of words with the guard, and the guard reacted physically - there would be no witnesses. And I still had quite a distance to walk. I guess that is my ranting. hahahaaha.
If my guest had kept his head, and asked the guard why he did not come to the gate to redirect the clueless visitors, and lightly encouraged him to do that -- perhaps, he would turn out to be a better guard in future. Well, it might or might not. I dont really know, but a higher probability. I guess I was a bit scared too, since it was so early in the morning, otherwise might have reprimanded the guard. But my guest's outburst removed that opportunity for me to do so in a constructive manner - because my guard had also become angry by all the loud outbursts, mentioning security, management. There was no place left for discreet reprimand in an honourable manner.
True, the guard was at fault. I saw the whole incident. I guess my point is, dont vent all yoru feelings at someone else who is innocent and whom you feel safe with, ieie your family, just because you are scared of venting to the guard or to strangers.
I guess I am writing to remind myself not to do the same - as of late, I had felt a "greater freedom" to express anger more freely. I pity my husband and child. There is no need to blame it on hormones or exhaustion.
Being an "unneccessary verbal punching bag" this morning for two parties is a good wake up call for me. Not allow myself to be so easily angry. Think ahead of outcomes.
Maybe that is why I noticed Seth feels inclined to shout at me recently but speaks gently to his father (ouch! need to repent. repent!)
An excellent verse for me to think about today: (wonderful translation!!!!)
And do not follow the customs of the present age, but be transformed by the entire renewal of your minds, so that you may learn by experience (through doing God's Word) what God's will is--that will which is good and beautiful and perfect.( Weymouth New Testament)
New International Version (©1984)
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
King James Bible
A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
Sometimes I behave like a fool. When I forget and vent all my anger. More oft of late.
Of late, I feel the people around me are so "free" to vent their anger at me.
Anything that displeases them, they glare back with displeasure, answer gruffly, and sullenly. Like a fool, I allow myself to think, I can do the same. Why not - if they can, why can't I? Hence I become a fool when I behave like that.
Early one morning, about 5 plus am, when hardly any soul was awake, I was to meet someone at the guard house. The entrance to our apartment area now has a barrier, divided into in and out lanes. Being foreign to my apartment area, the person drove the car to the outgoing lane and waited at the barrier, instead of the incoming. Being incompetent, the guard just stood there and watch the car, smoking his cigarette, without even going to the car to check.
I was wondering what was keeping my guest. It was for a few minutes. Then as I walked to the barrier, I had to gesture to my guest that the incoming lane was on the other lane. Being a quick tempered person, naturally, my guest exploded and said what kind of security guards your maintenance company is employing, who does not even go and check or even say a word to redirect the car to the other side, etc etc." The guard just watched calmly these events. I received the brunt of the anger.
Upon leaving the gate after settling matters, the guard came and said loudly demanded, "Apa dia cakap?!? " - meaning, what is the person saying? And I replied, my guest is new to this area, so the guest did not know where the entrance lane was. Then the guard got upset and scolded, why the person cannot see there are signs posted there?!?"
I said to him, Yes, there are signs, but the signs are not postioned so clearly to the visitors who are incoming. The guard started ranting, and I said to him, Look, I did not even scold you, but you are scolding me? Then, he must have realised suddenly, and calmed down, and said, "tak apa, tak apa".(nevermind, nevermind).
By then I was somewhat riled, and was starting to want to behave like a fool. So I said, Yes, you should tell the management to position the signs in a clearer place, let the management know.
That was my feeble attempt at flinging some last words. Yup, I shifted blame to management. But the person who was in the guard, and also my guest. I guess I was riled because it was like 5 plus am in the morning. My guest, who visited had lost judgement of wisdom. I was alone, and had to walk back to the apartment. If I had also lost it, and got into a tussle of words with the guard, and the guard reacted physically - there would be no witnesses. And I still had quite a distance to walk. I guess that is my ranting. hahahaaha.
If my guest had kept his head, and asked the guard why he did not come to the gate to redirect the clueless visitors, and lightly encouraged him to do that -- perhaps, he would turn out to be a better guard in future. Well, it might or might not. I dont really know, but a higher probability. I guess I was a bit scared too, since it was so early in the morning, otherwise might have reprimanded the guard. But my guest's outburst removed that opportunity for me to do so in a constructive manner - because my guard had also become angry by all the loud outbursts, mentioning security, management. There was no place left for discreet reprimand in an honourable manner.
True, the guard was at fault. I saw the whole incident. I guess my point is, dont vent all yoru feelings at someone else who is innocent and whom you feel safe with, ieie your family, just because you are scared of venting to the guard or to strangers.
I guess I am writing to remind myself not to do the same - as of late, I had felt a "greater freedom" to express anger more freely. I pity my husband and child. There is no need to blame it on hormones or exhaustion.
Being an "unneccessary verbal punching bag" this morning for two parties is a good wake up call for me. Not allow myself to be so easily angry. Think ahead of outcomes.
Maybe that is why I noticed Seth feels inclined to shout at me recently but speaks gently to his father (ouch! need to repent. repent!)
An excellent verse for me to think about today: (wonderful translation!!!!)
And do not follow the customs of the present age, but be transformed by the entire renewal of your minds, so that you may learn by experience (through doing God's Word) what God's will is--that will which is good and beautiful and perfect.( Weymouth New Testament)
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