powerlessness - God, have mercy!
"for without Me you can do nothing." John 15:5b
I have been hearing painful sad news last week, this week, and two weeks ago, and almost every week for about a month. People who are not well. People in pain. People suffering from cancer. People who died in accident. People who died of ill health. Friends. All of them. Friends' friends, or friends' family members. Can I do something? Seriously, I feel powerless.
A dear friend called two days back:
f: Hi, I am being admitted.
m: oh, what happened?
f: turns out it's H1n1.
m: o dear.
f: you can pray.
m: i will. thanks.
This dear friend had been ill for two weeks. Not with normal conditions. This friend also had allergy attacks in the recent past which nearly caused us to lose her presence here. Now I heard this msg. I told her in FB: "Actually i dont know what to do except to pray, may i?" Hence her call two days back.
Today, I opened the papers. A family had 5 people who died in an accident. Another three were critically wounded. Same family. Believers. Still hospitalised. One still need much prayer. Actually I received the sms to pray last week when it happened, and subsequent updates for past few days. Today I read about the funeral in the papers. I found myself weeping. What a loss of life, of destinies.
Tonight as I thought of this on the way home from the airport. WHERE am I now in believing in signs and wonders, miracles and healings? Late tonight (or early now). I hear this whisper: without Me you can do nothing.
Darby Bible Translation
I am the vine, ye are the branches. He that abides in me and I in him, he bears much fruit; for without me ye can do nothing.
Seriously, I know I can do nothing of myself. But my God - He can do all things. All things are possible for Him. I want to believe. Help my unbelief, my apathy. My reluctance or aversion for the "excesses of the charismatic movement" -- has it also caused me to be disconnected from the God of wonder who first revealed Jesus is the Son of God? I need to be desperate. This is what i Belief. Desperate enough that I will be bold enough to declare His Word. What on earth am I doing apathetic?
I must realise, I must awaken. People are dying. People are suffering. I must be a minister of reconciliation. To reconcile people to Him by decclaring His truth. That He heals today, Yes, still Healing. That He is alive today. That our faith is not in vain. For goodness sake, why have i hesitated? Why? I cannot answer. Why have I been afraid to speak the truth when people are in ICU? This must be absolute foolishness. I need to know the truth of who God has called me to be. His vessel to share His love and truth. Lord, pls have mercy. Pls forgive all my hesitations.
Lord, please cause me to be connected again afresh in You, abide in You. And Lord, I want to see YOur kingdom come, and Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Please now, have mercy on me, and bring me back to where I should be -- connected with You -- that at the name of Jesus, that You will stretch forth Your hands with signs and wonders, and confirm Your Word.
Lord, in other words: I really want to see all these people I know who are not well healed. Healed completely at Your name. For all the times I have hesitated, forgive me. For all the times I have acted in the foolishness of fearing what men may think, please forgive me my foolishness. Grant me boldness to speak Your words of life, and at the name of Your Son Jesus, that You will stretch forth Your hands with signs and wonders following to confirm Your Word. That You love us. That You are alive. That You are Lord and God. In Jesus' name. amen.
I have been hearing painful sad news last week, this week, and two weeks ago, and almost every week for about a month. People who are not well. People in pain. People suffering from cancer. People who died in accident. People who died of ill health. Friends. All of them. Friends' friends, or friends' family members. Can I do something? Seriously, I feel powerless.
A dear friend called two days back:
f: Hi, I am being admitted.
m: oh, what happened?
f: turns out it's H1n1.
m: o dear.
f: you can pray.
m: i will. thanks.
This dear friend had been ill for two weeks. Not with normal conditions. This friend also had allergy attacks in the recent past which nearly caused us to lose her presence here. Now I heard this msg. I told her in FB: "Actually i dont know what to do except to pray, may i?" Hence her call two days back.
Today, I opened the papers. A family had 5 people who died in an accident. Another three were critically wounded. Same family. Believers. Still hospitalised. One still need much prayer. Actually I received the sms to pray last week when it happened, and subsequent updates for past few days. Today I read about the funeral in the papers. I found myself weeping. What a loss of life, of destinies.
Tonight as I thought of this on the way home from the airport. WHERE am I now in believing in signs and wonders, miracles and healings? Late tonight (or early now). I hear this whisper: without Me you can do nothing.
Darby Bible Translation
I am the vine, ye are the branches. He that abides in me and I in him, he bears much fruit; for without me ye can do nothing.
Seriously, I know I can do nothing of myself. But my God - He can do all things. All things are possible for Him. I want to believe. Help my unbelief, my apathy. My reluctance or aversion for the "excesses of the charismatic movement" -- has it also caused me to be disconnected from the God of wonder who first revealed Jesus is the Son of God? I need to be desperate. This is what i Belief. Desperate enough that I will be bold enough to declare His Word. What on earth am I doing apathetic?
I must realise, I must awaken. People are dying. People are suffering. I must be a minister of reconciliation. To reconcile people to Him by decclaring His truth. That He heals today, Yes, still Healing. That He is alive today. That our faith is not in vain. For goodness sake, why have i hesitated? Why? I cannot answer. Why have I been afraid to speak the truth when people are in ICU? This must be absolute foolishness. I need to know the truth of who God has called me to be. His vessel to share His love and truth. Lord, pls have mercy. Pls forgive all my hesitations.
Lord, please cause me to be connected again afresh in You, abide in You. And Lord, I want to see YOur kingdom come, and Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Please now, have mercy on me, and bring me back to where I should be -- connected with You -- that at the name of Jesus, that You will stretch forth Your hands with signs and wonders, and confirm Your Word.
Lord, in other words: I really want to see all these people I know who are not well healed. Healed completely at Your name. For all the times I have hesitated, forgive me. For all the times I have acted in the foolishness of fearing what men may think, please forgive me my foolishness. Grant me boldness to speak Your words of life, and at the name of Your Son Jesus, that You will stretch forth Your hands with signs and wonders following to confirm Your Word. That You love us. That You are alive. That You are Lord and God. In Jesus' name. amen.
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