another heartache. RIP Little Torty.
Just as quickly Little Torty came into our lives. Less than one month exactly, on 19th of September, he passed on.
I feel responsible. Perhaps in my eagerness, I had killed him as I left him in the kitchen that Sunday to "get a bit of sun". I came home and he was floating in the water, eyes closed. All the crying won't help. Today marks the second day of his death. Hubby very kindly took him and buried him somewhere peaceful in the flowing waters.
Later Hubby said on his way out of the place, he met an old terrapin - abotu one foot in length, that looked at him in the eye as if to say, I'll take care of the little 'Un.
Part of me is still grieving. I cannot really keep pets. Get too attached to them. They are like family. Worse, knowing this one died as still a baby. He was probably depressed. I am not sure. But what I know is he died in my care within one month. And it's supposed to be a hardy creature. sigh. I dont know. I just felt I had not given him my best shot at caring for him, mostly because I was scared of holding him. perhaps in the future... well, I realised my lifestyle currently does not permit caring for a pet. Too many commitments. I dont know, maybe these are just excuses. I hope the Lord will forgive me for stubborn ignorance.
The other part of me feels relieved. Like he is not confined anymore to the tiny little aquarium, not to feel fearful anymore as he is almost daily when I move his "home" around. And he is with the Lord (pls dont quote me any theology about creatures having no soul etc right not). I felt tormented almost daily at seeing him confined to a small space without having freedom of choice - in regard to food. I did tell him in the beginning that he should live, and when he grows bigger to fend for himself, we'll set him free. All that is just plain moot theory now. I probably killed him due to my stubborn stupid ignorance. what else can i say? I'm sorry, Son. Your Turtle died. May God take care of him from now on.
Writing this did not really help. Cos the pain is still there. what can i do? Perhaps the passage of time will help. Hopefully. I will say NO in future. Dont want to have another pet die again.
I feel responsible. Perhaps in my eagerness, I had killed him as I left him in the kitchen that Sunday to "get a bit of sun". I came home and he was floating in the water, eyes closed. All the crying won't help. Today marks the second day of his death. Hubby very kindly took him and buried him somewhere peaceful in the flowing waters.
Later Hubby said on his way out of the place, he met an old terrapin - abotu one foot in length, that looked at him in the eye as if to say, I'll take care of the little 'Un.
Part of me is still grieving. I cannot really keep pets. Get too attached to them. They are like family. Worse, knowing this one died as still a baby. He was probably depressed. I am not sure. But what I know is he died in my care within one month. And it's supposed to be a hardy creature. sigh. I dont know. I just felt I had not given him my best shot at caring for him, mostly because I was scared of holding him. perhaps in the future... well, I realised my lifestyle currently does not permit caring for a pet. Too many commitments. I dont know, maybe these are just excuses. I hope the Lord will forgive me for stubborn ignorance.
The other part of me feels relieved. Like he is not confined anymore to the tiny little aquarium, not to feel fearful anymore as he is almost daily when I move his "home" around. And he is with the Lord (pls dont quote me any theology about creatures having no soul etc right not). I felt tormented almost daily at seeing him confined to a small space without having freedom of choice - in regard to food. I did tell him in the beginning that he should live, and when he grows bigger to fend for himself, we'll set him free. All that is just plain moot theory now. I probably killed him due to my stubborn stupid ignorance. what else can i say? I'm sorry, Son. Your Turtle died. May God take care of him from now on.
Writing this did not really help. Cos the pain is still there. what can i do? Perhaps the passage of time will help. Hopefully. I will say NO in future. Dont want to have another pet die again.
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